The Forty Rules of Love, by Elif Shafak is a jewel in itself, written through a simple story of a common woman. The American woman, named Ella is similar in ways to so many women across the world, who are busy fulfilling their duties and have forgotten what love actually looks like. The story weaves two stories, centuries apart bringing together the differences yet commonalities of love, however far apart in time. It brings Shams of Tabriz and Rumi’s connection in such spell binding way, where the male protagonist is shown as a reincarnated version of Shams himself, bringing true love and light into Ella’s dry world. Ella, a mother of three and married to a man who has been philandering more often than not. The mother side of her character has been woven in such a beautiful manner, loving yet worried for her children and also keen to make some decisions on their behalf, so they don’t have to bear consequences of their mistakes. Her character as a mother stuck with me in many ways and I am sure some or more parts will strike with most mothers.
The story connected with me in many ways, through its simplicity yet captivating storytelling and a strong content which keeps you hooked without costing you sleep. I looked forward to reading a few pages of the book every night before bedtime and relaxed while enjoying reading the book, at a slow pace, as if relishing a gourmet dish. The Forty Rules of Love have been so wonderfully woven into the story, and they seem to connect with you at every stage of the story, pushing you to also draw parallels and meaning into your own life. I took ample time to read this gem, where I could thoroughly plunge into each chapter and draw meaning without rushing to know the end of the story, which is unusual for me as a reader.
The first rule of love as the book states, “How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.” It is simple yet so profound, making us reflect on our beliefs and bringing them closer to the one of communion with the Universe.
Every time I read the book, it reminded me that the core of all religions is the same, i.e., Love and they are just structured in different ways. Love connects all the people and here it connects readers from across the globe, of different genders, religions, colour and beliefs.
Another simple yet beautiful meaning I could draw from the story was that even saints are human and make mistakes, they may be more white than black, yet we are all shades of grey.
The rules mentioned in the book discuss various life themes, from resisting changes to accepting we are all shades of grey, from love starts with self-love to experiencing of both hell and heaven on earth. I am not going to reveal more than this as I can never do justice to how the story is woven around The Forty Rules of Love, or probably the other way round.
The ending of Ella’s story is actually a beginning in so many ways and touched my heart in ways it is difficult to pen into words. Is Love really for us to own or is it for us to experience in many forms and ways during our stay on this planet? I hope I have been able to do justice to this gem, which is a worth slow, meaningful read and inspires readers to pick it up not once but perhaps several times during their reading journey.
Ending the post with another beautiful rule of love from the book itself, which made me reflect on testing times I faced and the person I am today due to them:
“The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain.”
In case you are interested in reading the book and yet do not have it, you can buy it from here on Amazon – The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
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